well, un-beta'd for reasons, but here it is.


i am well aware that this might be confusing. it's supposed to be.
it is kind of related to the "we're still here" fic i wrote here blackdragon-sama.deviantart.co…
they're not connected, but the general setting is the same.

for those who might want a better explanation of what's happening:

basically, Donatello's brilliant mind took a turn down into insanity after being put under too much strain for far too long
having to deal with all their issues, he has developed mental disorders,  his obsession with cleanliness, his need for perfection, all out of fear to make a mistake and risk his brothers' lives and safety.
lacking any sort of relief for the pressure, his mind has gone into self-preservation mode, awkward and unhealthy as it is.
he's yet fighting it down, recognizing that he's losing his mind, knowing he can't stop it, but he fights it for as long as he can to stay around long enough to make sure his brothers are safe.
he's blaming himself for things that aren't his fault.
he's also blaming himself for things that never happened.

...also, that little scene here never actually happened and he never even dropped the tube.


the mistake he's referring to can be several things, use your imagination